A woman driver is pulled over by a policeman: Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: May I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one. Officer: Don’t have one? Woman: Lost it for driving drunk four times. Officer: I see…May I see your vehicle registration papers please? Woman: I can’t do that. Officer: Why not? Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A police sergeant slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. sergeant: Ma’am, would you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Woman: Is there a problem sir? Sergeant: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Woman: Murdered the owner? Sergeant: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please? The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Sergeant: Is this your car, ma’am? Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The first officer is quite stunned. Sergeant: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the second officer. The sergeant snaps open the clutch? purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Sergeant: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Woman: I’ll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too. The Moral of the Story: Women. Don’t mess with them.
[:D][:D][:D]Excellent!
[:D][:D][:D] Very good I’ll just make sure i drive carefully through Soton on my way home each night. I don’t want to upset you women drivers
Alison, This is quite superb!
[:)] a reminder?
Just wondering: Are there many female readers in this forum? [:)]
Hi Preben Other forums exist for that sort of thing (apparently) [:D]
So true. Another example: The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background check, interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists… two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!!!” The man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.” The agent said, “Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.” The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent said, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.” Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. “This gun is loaded with blanks”, she said. “I had to beat him to death with the chair.” Moral: Women are evil. Don’t mess with them
Another One Ten men and a women were holding onto a rope dangling from a rescue helicopter. Someone shouts one of us will have to let go or the rope will snap. After a long silence the woman screams i will do it, as we have spent all our lives giving in to keep our men happy, then after a few seconds all the men started clapping. Moral woman can be cunning as well.
Kristian - old, but good. Da*n good. [;)]
Yeah, I wouldn’t pretend for a second that I actually made it up. So here’s another more shamelessly plagiarised from a forwarded e-mail: A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man. That’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but we’re unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days”. Flattered, the man replied,“Oh yes, I agree with you completely!” “This must be a sign from God!” The woman continued, “and look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.” Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?” The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police…” MORAL OF THE STORY: Women are clever, evil b!tches. Don’t mess with them.
You shouldn’t mess with women - Most are clever, some are cunning, but not evil. I even have some friends who are women! [;)]
Hmmm…how flattered we are that you all have so high opinion about us!..Cunning,Evil, & not to mention Bitches!
wow…i wonder if all your wifes and galfriend saw this Post!..